How to Irk Your Spouse

Never drink the final amount in a cup of coffee. Mention that you don't drink it because you don't like tilting your head back that far.

When dipping chips into salsa, break the big chips before dipping them rather than taking the ones that are already crumbled. Mention that you like the cracking sound made by breaking the big chips.

When driving your spouse's car, pull the seat as far foward as it will go so that you can reach the peddles. Forget to move the seat backward when you return the car.

Come home from work and immediately start sorting through the mail rather than saying hello to your family. Realize that you haven't seen them all day after they finally come up and stand in front of you.

Salt your food before tasting the meal carefully prepared by your spouse.

Put several decorative pillows onto the bed. Complain when they are actually used. When out shopping, look at even more decorative pillows that could be piled onto the bed.

Say, "You know what song is going through my head?" and then launch into humming it before your spouse has a chance to ask you not to.

Call your spouse during the day to say hello. Get distracted by your emails and forget to actually carry on a conversation.

Talk about something with your spouse and when he gives you a questioning look say, "Don't you read my blog?"

Go up to your spouse like you want a hug. As he bends over to hug you say, "Crack my back, please."

When your spouse says something you disagree with - rather than presenting your opinion in a persuasive and understanding manner instead say, "WRONG-G-G!!"

When using toilet paper or dental floss, be sure to take much more than is necessary to accomplish the job.

Buy snacks that should be saved only for you. Never eat them. Let them sit in the cupboard or freezer until they too old and must be tossed out.

Marnie said...
There is no such thing as too many decorative pillows.

Beth said...
Clog up the bathtub, pour ten tons of toxic DrainO down the pipes, let the fumes fill the entire second floor, and then annouce it's time for the kids to go to bed.